Unfortunate Circumstances
by Ariaprincess
Summary: Arthur Kirkland is a middle aged man working for a steady income. His job? Assisted suicide. He's very good at keeping his emotions under wraps, but one customer just gets under his skin. He hopes it's not the start of anything too...intimate. Human!AU, FrUK, human names used.


Arthur sighed as he loaded a bullet and cocked the barrel of his trusted handgun. He carried it around with him at all times, he was required to. Shoving the damned thing into the holster hanging beside his hip, he checked his list of appointments.

 _Feliciano Vargas, age 23, sound of mind._ Check.

 _Yao Wang, age 40, sound of mind._ Check and double check.

 _Lili Zwingli, age 12, sound of mind._ Check. The younger ones were always the hardest.

People called him an angel of mercy, a way of helping people who couldn't help themselves. A beacon of light in an otherwise dark world. Others called his kind the Grim Reapers. Suicide devils, taking lives without considering the circumstances and consequences. Angry relatives, fortunes left unclaimed. He ignored the doubting ones. This was requested by the customers themselves. This was his job.

Of course, when your job is to kill people, your job gets a little depressing.

He turned his focus to the next name on his list, his eyebrows furrowing in displeasure.

 _Francis Bonnefoy, age 26, sound of mind._

With a sigh, Arthur looked up at the navy blue house in front of him. It loomed overhead like a beast, casting a shadow on the slowly dimming sunlit road. Arthur swallowed his fear and went to knock at the door.

"Hello?" A man with silky blonde hair and a small patch of stubble on his chin answered the door, a grim smile on his face. "Am I currently speaking to Francis Bonnefoy?" "Yes, please come in."

Arthur entered the dimly lit house, wincing at the state of slight disrepair it appeared to be in. "May I offer you anything to drink?" Francis said, heading into the kitchen. "No, no, I'm afraid I can't stay long."

"Ah, but of course. Your kind are always busy nowadays." Francis returned from the kitchen with a glass of wine clutched in his right hand. Arthur wrinkled his nose at the sight of the red drink, it always made him puke anytime he tried it.

"You made an appointment with me at 6:30 P.M tonight." Arthur checked his watch, which was just changing to 6:31. "Are all the arrangements worked out?"

"Yes. I've written my will, everything is perfectly in order." Francis sighed, taking a sip from the cup he held. "Won't you sit down?"

"Like I said, I really can't stay for long." Arthur looked around the room nervously. He didn't like the way this man was looking at him. He was normally good at keeping his emotions under wraps when he was on a job, but Francis had this aura- it made him nervous.

"Why did you choose this?" He raised one enormous eyebrow, causing Francis to chuckle.

"Don't really have much of a life anymore. My best friends are both dead. They made appointments yesterday. Was it you who took them? Antonio Fernandez Carriedo and Gilbert Beilschmidt."

 _The albino and the airhead._ Arthur thought to himself. Francis continued, punctuating each statement with hand gestures.

"Everybody's choosing this path nowadays. Gilbert's little brother doesn't have anybody left anymore either. His boyfriend, his cousin Roderich, all gone. He'll probably make an appointment soon. It's a chain reaction, _non?_ First your family, and then you."

 _I didn't think of it that way._ Arthur stared at the other man, who continued to talk as if Arthur wasn't there.

"Roderich's boyfriend, Vash, had his sister die today. He's already contemplating it. Antonio's boyfriend, Lovi? Made an appointment for tomorrow. Soon nobody's going to be left in this town."

Francis sat the empty wine glass down and shrugged his shoulders. "And now me. Funny, _oui?_ You suicide devils are the cause of extermination."

"It's not extermination. You are the ones that request it. You are the ones that pay for it." Arthur said coldly. He didn't appreciate being called a 'suicide devil'.

"When your whole family's gone, what other choice do you have?" Francis pursed his lips slightly, causing Arthur to blush. "You could move. Make new friends."

"I'm not the type that makes friends easily." Arthur just stared at the blonde as he winked. "Though I might want to be friends with you."

"Sod off. You're just another mindless customer that I don't care about." Arthur snapped, his cheeks growing red. "Am I? I've heard that usually you just walk in, shoot them, walk out. Why take such a special interest in me?"

Arthur thought about this statement. Why? He was attractive, yes, but Arthur usually went for girls. He didn't seem particularly interesting, so why him? Why was his heart fluttering like a little bird?

 _Stop it, he's just a customer._

"Can I convince you to stay?" He said quietly. Somehow, he didn't want to imagine life without this man. It just seemed...wrong.

"I've made my choice. I cannot reverse it." Francis looked up at the ceiling, a smile playing on his lips. "I want to see Toni and Gilbert again."

"Sentimental frog." Arthur muttered. Francis sighed. "Alright. I've pre-paid, no? Everything's sorted out." He stood up, brushing invisible dust off his pants. "Let's go upstairs. I'd prefer to die on my bed."

Arthur followed him helplessly up the lengthy stairs and into the man's bedroom. As Francis lay down on his bed, he shot Arthur one last flirtatious smile, brushing his hand with his fingertips.

"Well, _au revoir,_ little devil. We may meet again."

"I hope we don't." Arthur said, pulling the gun out of its holster and placing it to Francis' temple. "If we do, I might fall in love with you."

"W-wait-"

 _Bang._

 _..._

"Lovino Vargas?" Arthur knocked on the door a few times.

"What do you want, bastard?" The door swung open, revealing a messy haired man wearing an oversized t-shirt.

"I'm Arthur Kirkland. I'm here for your 12 o'clock appointment."


End file.
